Sonny is a green recycling genius..........

Without many words Sonny my two year old is the smartest person I know. I gave him a few old Christmas cards before disposing of them. Without thought his beautiful spirit took over, grabbed himself an orange crayon and has been improving the cards. He sings and dances a little while he works out his creativity. How I wished I would have thought of giving him cards before. I have been having the most inspirational, stress free morning enjoying him and his Christmas cards.

it's another thing again.

As soon as I feel on top of my game a block gets pulled from the Jenga tower and things start to fall. I'm in the final stages of my daycare license preparation. My house is baby proofed, the yard man will be here in the next few days, I have all my paperwork together, I just need one more document and I can send in my application. My rooms are even quick cleans with 4 kids messing them up as quick as I can clean them. The block that was pulled irks me. My dryer stopped working and my girls only have dresses left.

Feeling nutty with jobs to do and nothing ever gets done.

So tonight I took a blow from my hubby. I'm sure he thinks he's being helpful. He told me don't worry baby I'll clean the house tonight. I have been cleaning the house every day for 14 days straight. Apparently I should not quit my job to be a maid. I have been working hard to clean-up, baby proof and get paper work in order while trying to get a daycare license. I can't imagine going to work everyday with two young boys at home. I was late everyday as it was just trying to get my then 1 year old and my school age daughter and nephew to school. My boobs are so hard with milk, I don't shower unless my two year old naps, my kitchen is marginally clean when we aren't out of paper plates.My sweet husband works at home early morning, makes breakfast and then quickly runs out every morning. I usually wont hear from him until noon for our 3 to 5 minute conversation about nothing and see him again when he's starving at 7pm. Maybe the nutty is post postpartum or maybe my mind is finally trying to warm me that my life choices are crazy.

Facebook

I'm not sure if I should spend so much time on Facebook. I love finding my old friends then I feel down because they all followed dreams. I didn't have dreams to follow I just wanted to end life with my parents and get started in the middle of mine. Now I have 5 kids and wish I had followed a dream. I took the jobs I could get, rented apartments, and crappy houses, married the "cool guy" and found out he wasn't even close to my dream guy. Had a baby, got a divorce...... still working the same job I could get. Started dreaming without the means to support my dreams. Started my life in the middle over again...... married the dream guy. Hot, smart, loves kids and has drive. Had or received a few more kids, still at that same job I could get. My old friends have lives, careers and patience to achieve goals. I guess I feel like I talk about my past to appear intresting, however if we are talking now my life is carring for other lives and what's intresting now is not me but them. I wounder if I ever will be intresting.

You make me so crazy

It's been a while. I do have 4 kids, trying to get a degree and work while pregnant again with the worst pregnancy I could have ever dreamed of. I'm done. I publicly hope I have to have a c-section so they can give me a tubal while I am there. I have 5 days until my due date and who knows how many days left to go.......... the wait seems to be eternal. Maybe I died and this is my hell. Wouldn't that be something.

So out with why "you" my beloved make me crazy. You are such a strong person, so beautiful. Yes I've seen it it's maddening when I don't feel like I don't impact you like you impact me. I know I am not always easy to live with but there is a reflection there as well. I am sorry however about tonight. We didn't get into a fight but I let you down somehow. I thought you were joking about wanting to go out. It did not set in until you mentioned you worked 60 hours this week. I think you deserve a break. I feel like I cheated it from you. Somewhere in my thoughts I felt you wanting to go out was to repeat bitter old history from the Buns birth. Things feel different this year. I have more respect for you. We get along better and life isn't any easier. I should have stepped back and just been ok with one night out. I am sorry. I hope if you ever find my pathetic blog you know what this apology is all about and know some are better late than never. I love you more every day and I hope that never ends. You are why I'm so crazy sometimes and wouldn't have it any other way. I am crazy about you. I am sorry.

Giving it a try

Hey I'm Mary. It's been almost 2 years now and my life is nothing I expected. My mom tells me I should write a book. I think I'll start with a blog.

Two years ago I was a single mom of one little girl. We lived in a nice two bedroom home with our wiener dog Ozzy and our cats Mike and Bob. Life was good. I wanted to date and went through an internet personals. I met Warren. His face looked like a heart. I looked at it a few hundred times and about 6 weeks later I responded to his response. We had our first date commuting home on BART. It was public and safe. I dressed my worst to protect my self for some serial internet dater, Warren now teases me and says I had so many colors on I could have been a rainbow. We hit it off. We have daughters a month apart..... they hit it off. We were married four months later.

That explains two kids. The Girls...... Tanner and Marysa. We have four. My brothers kid was in foster care bouncing from house to house. Me and Warren decided we would take him since my brother wasn't going to get him anytime soon. We applied and got him. Another four year old to add to our family. Three four year olds you'd think we were good
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Oops..... Warren birthday came I got pregnant. We gave birth to Sonny in February. My new life adventure began.

2012 Goals!

I choose goals and not resolutions. Goals are meant to be reached and I can do this!

Here we go:

1. Find a job that I love doing.
2. Get a house.
3. Get Sonny to sleep in his own bed.
4. Bike for health.
5. Work in my kids classes more often.
6. Feed my family better.
7. Grow a summer and winter garden.
8. Take my kids on a vacation that shows them some Great State and National Parks.
9. Learn Chinese.
10. Build Lovely Eco Chic is to a shop people prefer to shop at.