The church side show

A few weeks back I went to visit the new pastor at my church to talk about Declan's baptism. While I was there I brought my two boys who ran circle after circle around the table the pastor and I were sitting at. This was the perfect opportunity for me to ask why the speakers in the fellowship room don't get turned on anymore. He did not know but told me I could bring my kids to church. All children that could walk were invited to Sunday school during the service. Today I got brave and decided to take him up on the offer. I got up got dressed complete with running shoes and loaded up Marysa (8), Joey (7), Sonny (2), and Declan (2mos). As we got out of the car we ran into the retired Pastor and his wife and they offered their help. I couldn't imagine how they could help so I declined politely and we walked in together. For the last 22 years I have attend First Lutheran Church I have sat in the same pew on the left of the alter. My children walked in beautifully sat down got a pencil and kept themselves busy. I was very proud. I thought of when my mother would tell me about how well behaved her 5 oldest were in church. No sooner than I completed that thought Sonny got up and quietly walked around in circles in and out of the empty pews. He activity wasn't so bad. I was able to listen to the Gospel and the reading, we then went and joined all the kids for a children's chat on temptation. I'm not sure any of the kids understood at all, and the children were dismissed for Sunday school.
Our new Pastor has a lot of passion in his sermon. I was almost brought to tears when he described a parents love of there child and what a test of faith it would be if God came to him and asked him to sacrifice one of his children. In my heart, holding Declan close to my heart I knew my faith wasn't strong enough my self. I would burn eternally in hell before harming any of my children. Any how the sermon I am sure will be taught about at least a few more days before other thoughts take over.
When Sunday school was over the children were brought back to me. Sonny was amp'd up at this point. He was noisy and very fast. At one point you joined the pastor at the alter. I chased him all over the church. Finally I caught him in front of our retire pastor and his wife. I passed Declan to one of the church ladies to hold for the rest of the service so I could hold Sonny. When the service was complete I felt two emotions. Crying because I felt like a failure that my mother could keep her kids in line and a celebrity when all the members I have known and people I have never met before told me I wasn't alone, that they had been in my position before and to please keep coming back. That my son was a welcome disturbance. Today I earned another star on my mother belt and did not cry after church but took a nice long nap with my kids.