yawn work

I have been back at my job since Tuesday. I have had no work to do since I can not get into any of the systems. I am more tired than when I worked all day long. Today kicked my butt. I got up at 4:45am and nursed Declan slept until 6 am on the sofa so I wouldn't fall into a deep sleep and then got up. Got ready for my shower that woke Sonny up so I set him up in the bed with daddy watching some public television show. My more than half sleeping husband attempted to soothe my crying two year old the entire time I took a shower. After the shower I picked him up and went to each of the kids rooms to wake them up. Surprisingly they got out of bed and got dresses I set up Sonny on the couch to watch Dora the Explorer and he was happy. I woke Declan again and nursed him a second time before we left. Loaded up the car with all the kids kissed my sleeping sweetheart good bye and left. I took Marysa to school first. It was the first time in a long time I had to drop her off at daycare in the morning. I forgot she likes for me to wait on her before getting out of the car and had to soothe her mini meltdown. Jumped back in the car and wrote Joey a check for hot lunch while sitting at a stop light. Got to my good friend's house who is watching the boys for me while I work two weeks and got Joey off to school, he walks from there and brought my babies into her house. I had to change Declan's clothes seeing that he puked all over his pajamas. I was out her door running at 735am. I reached San Ramon at 810am where I risked a McDonald's breakfast before having to be at work at 830 am. I was lucky and was 10 minutes early and happy someone else got to the door before me since my badge doesn't work to open the doors anymore. I slid into my desk ate my breakfast as quickly as possible and signed on to my work station. I sat at my desk small talking with my co-workers since I can't work if I don't have access to anything. Ten o'clock is my break I sit on the floor of a room full of chairs and boxes of files. I pumped 13 ounces of milk. While pumping I get a text message from Christina that Declan is feeling porky and has 12 ounces left and that will last him until almost 2pm. Holy cow what do I do........I'm thinking formula in the back of my head knowing how bad that would make my sweet baby feel. My anxiety keeps building and building and light bulb turns on. Tack 15 minutes to my lunch for lactation time and take the milk I just pumped to my baby. I get it approved by my manager and run to drive 80 miles per hour to bring my baby his milk. I get back to work 6 minutes late. Crud....before I left on maternity I was on warning of suspension. I can't do that it would defeat the reason to work for two weeks. I ask my manager where I am with sick days and find out nothing to get me in trouble there. That is perfect since my girl friend just sent me a text that her daughter has a fever of 101.3 I decide to leave unpaid for childcare problems and take the hit. I do a quick sweep through Target for dress for Declan's baptism this upcoming Sunday and baby goodies to make pumping easier. In and out in less than 15 minutes. I then book it to Christina's house where my kids are eating and Genna is happy but in pain, she is my friends daughter. I sit and chat about an hour about scheduling and Declan's sudden increase in eating and she's got to leave. I drive a little before Joey gets out of school since it is now 2 o'clock in the afternoon. On the way to pick-up Joey notice Christina's son who has autism is being dropped off to an empty house I call Christina and let her know get Joey and go straight to Target where I return half the things I bought just over an hour earlier in San Ramon, and pick up a few more needed things. Diapers and pull-ups for Sonny and Joey. Get back to the car and go to Wendy's where I get small meals for the kids afternoon snack v-line to Marysa's school and get her. We then proceed on to my sister Terri's house to wait for my parents who arrive less than ten minutes later. I visit awhile, show my dad Declan for the first time. Then my sister is getting ready for dinner. She asks me if she can pick me up a Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza I can cook at my house. That's a pretty good hint she is ready for us to leave. Oh and the comment she would never want my kids. She's just a real trip. My mom thinks she could be menopausal and about to get worse than that. What ever she's Terri and I'm use to this, I'm going to nurse Declan while she gone so I can leave when he's fed. Oh know my breast are way to full and choke him like a person trying to take a dink from a fire hose like they might a garden hose. I have to pump, 8 ounces to be exact before my flow slows down enough to feed my baby who is now hysterical. I calm him, Terri and my dad get back and she asks me if I'm sure I don't want to stay and have pizza with them. What!!! No thanks we will eat at home. I get home my house smells like burnt coffee from the pot Warren didn't turn off and thank the load Marysa and Joey can microwave burittos, that Sonny passed out in the car and Declan is working his way to sleep in the baby swing. I load up the washing machine, the kids makes their lunches for Friday and I ask Joey to take a box out to the rycycle can. Coming back in he slams the door waking both babies and I don't get to eat my dinner that is cooking in the microwave. I put Dora on pick up Declan and nrse both the boys. Sonny can't see Dora good while he nurses so he bites me. Ouch! He and I are done. I give him his bottle and attempt to nurse a hysterical over tired Declan. Send Joey into the bathroom to clean his butt the is caked with poop. His wonderful new problem as of the last few months and cringe. I just can't understand why he is messing his pants again, he's been clean over a year. I finally get to a point where I can put Declan in his bed to sleep, Sonny is lethargic but needs to eat so I grab my now cold dinner and Sonny eats all my potatoes, I finish the turkey and carrots pick up little man as he quietly begs to be let down and carry him off to bed. He feel asleep before I even shut the door. Marysa is 8 and knows she needs a shower so she takes one unprompted by me and goes to bed. Warren is at writer's group and I am alone finally to unwind via this blog post. As tired as I am for doing nothing at my work block of the day I am grateful for this moment alone.