My heart has always told me to put my child first. For the most part I try to do that. I try to find the good in everyone but I'm also human and my feelings get hurt and causes pain seen or unseen from time to time.
As an example I am not a big fan of my husbands ex. I think she's kind of strange and we have bad blood between us. She wants to make my life with her child as hard as possible. I can say I'm not friendly to her in return. However I get along with her mother and time to time when Tanner is not with us she wants to have a play date with her siblings. That's fine with me. My kids are her family and I'm happy to make play dates. Her grandma is a grandma and has opinions and I do a lot of respectful smiling and nodding when we are together. The kids have fun then I want to go home. Here is a challenge of mine. Tanner asks if her brother Joey can come to her Mom's house and play. I have issues with that. I don't want him there period. It's hard for me to justify sending my child I am 100% responsible for over to my husbands ex-wife's house if she's there or not and be OK with it. However sometimes I wonder if I'm over reacting or not?
Another challenge I have a lot of trouble with is my ex-husbands girl friend living with him. Not because she's a woman and he's moving on, or another mother figure is in my daughters life. They have a one bedroom apartment the three of them live in and I think a young girl needs space of her own or at least her own bed not a pull out sofa bed. I brought this up with him and apparently he believes my frustrations with this situation is his girlfriend whom was a good friend of mine for many years crossed over to the dark-side. I'm sure I have voiced my concern over the awkwardness of this combo. I can't waist energy focused on his relationships. I feel in the right focusing on my daughter needing space in her own home. Once again with all the messy conversations and relationships here my daughter needs to be first. I hug the girl friend and invite her in to see our chickens for my daughter. Am I over reacting wanting more for my daughter or am I out of line since I don't live there?
Now I know a lot of my friends are divorced and all the situations are different. I know some that are open and friends with there ex spouses and some that exchange their children in parking lots to keep things neutral. For me I struggle with my feelings of being a Mother, an individual and a hypocrite. I like to think I treat people how I want to be treated as a rule. I just have a lot of trouble in my blended family letting go of my feelings and looking at my daughters and always knowing what is the right thing to do for them.
