Friday, June 19, 2009
About mid-May Joey talked me into a garden. It was suppose to be sun Flowers inspired by the seedling he started in his 1st grade class. Once we started we added peas. Then how could you have a garden without a tomato plant. Well from each added plant we added another until our garden was complete. In the end out plot of land 5 by 14 had added a lemon cucumber, a baby boo pumpkin, a zucchini, soy beans, and egg plant.
Then came the fear of will our garden would grow? I signed up for an organic gardening group for beginners. It's a great web site an you should check it out.
I watered my garden daily without fail, I fed my plants a liquid tomato and vegetable plant food by Miracle Grow. I plucked all the little seedling weeds out each day and I waited. The garden grew but not so much. The weather believe it or not was cloudy and windy. Then we had two days of real sun. Our garden grew. Mind you we still have no veggies to pick but I have a lot of hope. It's easy to hope when Joey is the biggest garden cheerleader with huge yelps of delight. "Mom did you see the tomatoes they are huge!"
Since the garden began we also germinated flowers and herbs in my kitchen window and have trans planted our seedlings in to a flower bed and pots on my front porch. They are growing. Not as big or as fast as our veggies but I get a little more excited each time I see they are a little bigger. Marysa had the great add-on idea for that. Tanner as much as she hates dirt even got her fingers a little dirty.
Four plus years ago when I met Warren we talked about my tiny little strawberry garden I had in front of my little house in Concord. He told me about this big garden he had in San Leandro. Some how I always feel like I am in his shadow. It must come from being the last of seven kids and feeling like everything is a competition. Even our sweet little garden. Last night Warren walked out to the garden. The first time I had seen him do that. I could feel my stomach racing like a judge or teacher was coming to grade me. I know, how weird and I? Warren said your garden has really taken off. That made me happy.
There will be more to come as the garden grows I'm sure so keep checking on it. I know I will, as I do several times a day.
Monday, June 15, 2009
I have 5 kids and a full-time job. Declan is six months old and my job as much as I don't like it has been good to me. I have been able to stay home with two of my babies and Joey for his adoption with the guarantee my job will be there when my bonding time is over.
I got hired there in July of 2000. Marysa was born in December of 2000. My office closed while I was on leave and I had a new job in a new office waiting for me when my leave was over. Mind you Marysa was only nine weeks old and I was only 25 I had a great paying job with great benefits waiting on me. Back then as much as I hated leaving my baby I had the drive to make sure she had every opportunity my parents gave me. They only thing she didn't have was her Mommy at home raising her.
Having Sonny two plus years ago coming back to work was really hard. After all I had this beautiful new baby and I had time to spend with Marysa, my dream. I got to see Joey turn into a different boy than the one I met and Tanner and I got to become friends. I stretched my baby bonding leave out with Sonny until he was 13 months old. Going to work a few weeks with my job and splitting it up with a few hours a weeks at a great job in Walnut Creek. When my time ran out I got lucky with a great daycare a few minutes from my work I could go spend my hour lunch with Sonny and it wasn't so bad.
Then I got pregnant. I found out in April 2008. Declan made me sicker than a dog. I took a lot of time off for morning sickness spending more time at home with my Sonny- Bun.
In December 2008 Declan was born.I didn't think I was going to be able to share my heart anymore but it opened up bigger and I fell in love with him.
I have five mouths to feed. A need for money to feed them and no desire to go back. I am trying to break my time up with Declan. I went back a few weeks in March and I'm back again for a few weeks now. All I can think about is how much I miss my babies. I wonder if Sonny in pinning for me like I am for him? If Declan is going to be like Marysa and need me to hold him all night long when I get home? Is Joey getting left out while the girls play? Are the girls even playing? How's my mom doing with my kids?
I'll be on my leave again in just a few short weeks. Full-time is waiting for me in the not so distant future. My heart already aches to be with my family and my efforts to work from home is getting smashed to bits in this economy. Once again my job is there for me when my time is up and my kids wont miss out on anything but their Mama home. Things wont be bad for them. I'll just miss them.