Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sonny, My kids and Jesus

As anyone who has met Sonny knows he is a handful. He is a a force that is able to make my heart, sink to the bottom of my stomach, skip a beat, and be overcome by complete love. Sonny is my sweet guy.

He is also my wild child. He has caught black widows barehanded, sliced his hand open almost all the way down to his tendons and still cry to go back to the park. He wants kisses on a bloody knee or egg on his head so he can feel better to continue playing just as hard or harder.

He recently learned to open our front door. I am not even close to as fast as he is darting out our front door straight down our drive-way and left down the hill, right in the middle of the road. I was holding Declan and wearing flip-flops thinking got to catch him before someone drives up my hill. Thank God I caught him. The mail man who never returns my hellos laughs at me. My heart now firmly planted in the stomach surrounded by butterflies thanking God things weren't worse. My whole life would be different today if Sonny hit that road running full speed blindly as a car drove past. I am terrified of taking him out my front door.

There are so many things that have to be done on the other side of that door. Today it was a retirement party for Joey's first grade teacher in a park near a busy road. Crowds, Sonny and traffic don't mix. Twice I went into panic as he ran towards the road.

With Sonny clearly defined, and people including the new pastor of my church seeing him in action I asked the new pastor is he could post his sermon. Our church has a blog. He did.

Now this is the first time I have not heard a sermon but read it. Normally during a sermon my mind wonders no matter how hard I try to listen. My kids are fooling around, there's a noise, a new banner or something else. A good sermon my mind wonders when I try to prevent myself from crying. Now reading a sermon at my leisure is a totally different experience. I'm not the best reader and I may understand things differently when I read them than when I hear them spoken.

This particular sermon Pray like Jesus, PT 1. The opening jumps out at me. "how is it that we learn to pray?" That got me thinking not how is it that we learn to pray. I assume it's learned by example, but how do we learn what we are praying too. That is the guts of this sermon, the trinity.

Now my thoughts were not so much about the trinity in this sermon but my kids. I have five of them. Each unique. I try to expose them to what I believe by taking them to church when I can. I take them without help when we go. I pray with them, not as often as I should. I talk to them about what I believe in daily conversation, (An example would be God's promise not to flood the world again by giving us a rainbow. We talked about Noah and the floods. ) and answering questions that come up. My kids have hundreds of them. They all have different backgrounds after all my family is blended. Each of the girls have lives very different than the one they have at our home at their other parents home, Joey has his views and memories from being in different foster homes and then they have me and Warren who's beliefs are very opposite. There is enough noise to confuse anyone.

I think of my kids when I read this sermon. I pray that I learn the right information when read it. What I read is a potential question and I want to be clear with my belief and practice when I answer. After all my kids will be presented with all sorts of different information when it comes to God and religion.

Marysa is my mealtime prayer leader she seldom forgets, and she asks me questions like "Are we Jewish?". Tanner tells me about God sometimes but we haven't had that good heart to heart yet. Joey, my parents and I half joke about him becoming a preacher. He likes to learn about God by reading books with me or on his own. Ironically one of his favorites is: A Picture of God 3 in 1, by Joanne Marxhausen. A book that details how the trinity can be explained with an apple. I personally think it is a great book and would recommend it to anyone who doesn't understand them self or has young children. My little Sonny likes to sing Amen at the top of his lungs and loves the songs I sing to him about Jesus and God. You can hear him sometimes trying to join in. Declan is still just a gummy smiling baby. Sweet and kissable.

So back to the point I was trying to make. Surely no one can follow closely my twists and turns in my words. My point is I have something to be thankful for today in addition to all the many blessing my family and friends give me. I have a sermon I can read when I am trapped in my safe Sonny world. I often feel like I am not doing my job as a parent well when I don't take my kids to church and sometimes I feel like I need a little extra Jesus in my heart than at other times. I am glad I spoke up and was listened to. That our new pastor took the time to post his sermon not just for me but for all of us stuck at home for what ever reason.

Pastor if you read my words I really do appreciate it. I can't wait to talk to my parents about it this week. Sermons are usually a hot topic for me and my dad.

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