Thursday, January 5, 2012

The truth is

I've been pretty down lately. The winter typically does this to me. I always blame it on my lame birthday. December 26, who wants to relate their birthday with forgetting and leaving?

So my rant today adds to that. I'm beating myself down. No job. No jobs advertised. My little shop sits listless and people are cleaning house on Twitter and Facebook and I'm loosing my small inch of internet fame as I'm disliked and unfollowed. Now returns are being made.

The hardest part of all this is I'm 36. I have five beautiful kids and I feel like such a cruddy role model. My parents worked hard. We had things. Sure not a lot of time was spent as quality family time but I could look up to them and feel proud.

My kids parent me. If I slip and swear they correct me. They are diligent about doing homework before having fun. Sure their rooms are messy not matter how I nag. I suppose it's the value of being a kid to blame that on. I love them all so much.

I'm up to nothing. I spend a lot of energy on my shop without interaction. I miss my kids all day. I'm just sad . It's the truth.

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