Saturday, May 16, 2009

My brother

I have a brother who is eleven years older than me. He has issues with drugs and alcohol. For the most part I keep my distance from him pretty well. Yet my life is intertwined with his. I am raising his son. He is homeless and chooses the outer area of my neighborhood to live in. Not often and always totally unprepared I do run into him.

Today was no exception. Joey and I have been working hard on our garden a half a week now. Slowly finding out what we need. Today we needed a cage for our tomato plant we bought yesterday. My two year old was asleep and my husband home so we seized the moment to be able to run in and grab what we needed at the neighborhood Ace hardware. We got our cage, duct tape, and a much needed fly swatter after adding chicken manure to the garden. Out the door we walked right into my brother, Joey's biological father.

I can't smile when I him since he makes my blood boil knowing how much my Joey has been through and how much work he's done to grow into the great little boy he is now. Jonathan gets so proud to tell us Jimmy is graduating and he has only 10 tickets and Jimmy gave him one. Part of me is sad for Jimmy since I just talked to him the other day about what role Jonathan hasn't played in his life. Jonathan wants me to wait so I can meet his friend. Crap......... I can't stand to meet another tweaked out freak. I have to go, no I don't want to hug you, please don't cry. Why wont my car door open fast enough to load our stuff and run?

My brother make me feel things I can't even describe, nothing good and I wish after seeing him a shower or something would make the whole experience go away.
Now I just worry what running into Jonathan will do to my son Joey?

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